Tuesday, May 28, 2013

A how-to guide

How to accuse public figures of drug use and murder (and make $200,000) without repercussion:

Step one: make your left-wing bias as obvious as possible, so you can justify attacking conservatives without evidence.

2. Target controversial conservative public figure who has never liked you because of step one.

3. Accuse public figure of illegal drug use.

4. When asked for evidence, refer to top secret video taped by Somalian drug dealers seen only by yourself.

5. Somalian drug dealers demand $200,000 ransom for video.  Set up website soliciting public donations.

6. Reach $200,000 goal.  Claim to have lost touch with Somalian drug dealers.

7. Somalian drug dealer turns up dead.  Accuse mayor’s office of murdering drug dealer.

8. Politely request Somalian drug dealers provide video in exchange for $200,000.

(These steps are written in advance of them actually taking place)

9. When Somalian drug dealers don't respond, pocket $200,000.  Apologize profusely for those unreliable drug dealers going missing.

10. Have forever changed the history of Toronto politics, a man's life and career, and markedly defamed Canada's (now former) reputation for journalism conducted with at least a little bit of integrity.  All without ever producing a shred of proof!

… Really, this is a disgusting and disappointing time for Canadian journalism.

Has anyone ever stopped to ask: were there ever any Somalian drug dealers?  Is there any video?  Or was this just a way to libel a public figure and make $200,000?